A GO-GETTER ON HOLD

She is brave, beautiful, intelligent, and a go-getter… she is a woman, her name Margarita

People think that most military wives have an easy life, homeschool their kids, and chat while having tea and cookies. But the reality behind every one of them differs from country to country and each soldier individual rank.

Before marrying her husband, Margarita had an idea of what that new life would be like, but the challenges she has faced have been a bit different of what she imagined.  Before becoming an army-wife, she was a single mother to her daughter Veronica, her job sustained both, while Margarita pursued her Nursing degree. It was a harder life, because she spent so much time working that she was unable to spend quality time with her little girl.

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Now, eight years into the marriage with a second beautiful girl born six-years-ago, new challenges have risen. Margarita’s husband can be away from home for nine months at a time.

Changes in her path of life made Margarita obtain a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, but to be able to practice her discipline she needs a Master Degree. That is where the challenges of this go-getter woman started, yet she is of a strong character and doesn’t give up. “I keep on finding new ways that can work with the life we are living now,” she says.

Her trial now is not feeling caged boxed in while deciding to take care of her daughters’ emotional needs, while dad is absent or pursuing all her dreams.

 

This feeling is a normal one for many professional mothers that have their spouses economical support, but feel that need to be a bread winner too. It is an inner struggle, a fight between the professional woman and the mother. Some women understand it, while other criticize it and make those women feel unworthy. Everyone has the right to make those decisions, everyone is different, so please, embrace love. When you put your family’s needs before your own desires things change, but it does not mean that you have forgotten about your dreams, they are only on stand-by status.

Margarita’s girls are at an age where they understand what daddy is doing, the dangers he encounters, and that can cause them stress sometimes. Naveen, who is 6 years-old has had nightmares about something happening to his dad, she was not eating well for a few days and ended in the hospital for six days. It takes a toll on the kids to think about the scenarios that happen so far away from home, yet so close to their heart. Because of this, Margarita has them in several extra curriculum activities after school, it is a form of therapy that helps them release stress. But at the same time, it gives Margarita very little time to concentrate in the courses she is taking.

She is taking baby steps to go back to school, either to start her Master’s Degree in Psychology, or to finish her Nursing degree. It all depends on the new orders her husband will get. “What has helped me is to always have a plan A, B, C and D, that way I know I have options,” Margarita adds. She gets frustrated by not knowing about what the next step will be, because this would allow her to make decisions, but at the same time she says that “the military is not negotiable.”

Being home with the girls has helped the family find balance, when dad is deployed. Margarita can be at every ballet recital, and attend Veronica’s activities as well. Her husband is not there, but both make sure to work harder for the relationship, they talk constantly, do video conferences and send packages. All those details make the waiting easier, Margarita lovingly says that “he is the one making the biggest sacrifice” for the family, not her or the girls. Veronica and Naveen have been accomplishing milestones in their education, you can see all the great dedication both parents have invested, specially Margarita, who does not mind having her career goals in hold.

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Margarita shows us that even when you are a go-getter, like she is, priorities change, life changes, situations stir up, and we might not have control of such. But to fight to what we consider right, is well worth it, particularly when it involves family.

I admire this woman, because she is certain about what she is doing, if something breaks her she doesn’t show it…

She is focused on her family’s wellbeing, and keeping on falling in love, with the man she married; because since he is in her life, she has the luxury -as she calls it- to be home with her girls to raise superpower girls.

See you next Sunday …

Respectfully,

Celia

 

*photos provided by Margarita

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